In July I had planned a quick four-day trip to visit my cousins in Boston. Before leaving I wasn’t feeling well, had the typical cold symptoms and so I still caught the flight that Wednesday night. As we were landing in Boston, my ears had unbearable pain. I looked like a mental patient rocking back and forth holding my ears trying to get it to stop. If they happen to randomly be reading this, I’m sorry lovely couple next to me. My ears after flying never popped and I couldn’t really hear anything, it was all just muffled sounding. Thursday comes and goes still just feeling like I’m fighting a cold and waiting for my ears to pop. Then Friday comes no progress in my ears but we made due and still went out to explore the city after working and then went to the Red Sox game. We’re about halfway through the game or a little further past and the sharp ear pain that just won’t go away instead just got worse. My cousin having dealt with an ear infection said hers hurt just like mine and so we used ear drops in hopes to get it to stop. I think I slept about only two full hours that night, was just in agonizing pain otherwise. Having planned to take a day trip to Maine that day, we opted out and instead went the minor emergency for the ear pain. I was tested for covid and strep as well she looked into my ears and checked out my eye because I woke up with gunk in it. After seeing her, the results were I tested positive for the flu, double ear infection, and pink eye. After getting some drinks that had electrolytes and stopping in to see if my ear meds were ready, we went back to the apartment and I passed out on my cousin’s bed. The rest of the day consisted of me waking up periodically trying to drink some liquids and a couple minutes later throwing it up. I wouldn’t even have liquids in me and somehow, I’d throw up. I just did that over and over and then more of that through the night. For some reason sucking on ice cubes was the only way I could get liquids to stay in me and my cousin throughout the night would refill my cup.
Early Sunday morning as my cousin was working on bringing me more ice cubes, my back had this awful pain that went into my chest and next thing I knew I couldn’t catch my breath. I was breathing so quickly and short that no matter what I did, it wouldn’t slow down. I hit being delusional and if it wasn’t for my cousin suggesting we go to the ER my outcome would have looked a lot differently. The ride to the ER felt like hours but it was only like 10min and every little hole felt like the biggest pot hole.
I was admitted with double ear infection, pink eye, and the flu which after their results came in, I was actually negative for the Flu and going through something I never thought I’d hear a doctor say, “DKA.” For diabetics DKA or Diabetes Ketoacidosis is something you never want to experience. It’s a 0 out 10, would recommend. DKA is develops when your body doesn’t have enough insulin to allow blood sugar into your cells for use as energy. My number when admitted was over 600, which to me, made no sense when Saturday morning before it all went downhill my number was in the 200s. Seems high but that’s a normal number for fighting colds, infections, or being sick in general. The diabetes educated when I asked what I could have done differently said it was just a serious of unfortunate events. Our immune systems are basically non-existent and fighting anything that has to do with our bodies spikes our numbers, now imagine three infections on top of each other. I spent the next five days in the ER hall way being treated through IV’s, lots of blood work, and fluids, while waiting for a room.
Long story long, when you’re waiting to be healthy enough to be released you have a lot of time to just sit and think. The “What if?” questions start popping up. What if I never got on that plane? What if I just canceled the trip all together because of a cold? What if I just hadn’t gotten sick? What if I had gone to the doctor before leaving? I could go on for days on the “what if” questions. Just some shower thoughts on it, even if I hadn’t gone on this trip, I still could have ended up in the ER. “What if” questions are just those open-ended hundreds of possibility outcomes. They keep you from doing something in the future because the outcome of a trip or event went poorly in the past and you instantly start to think of what could go wrong eventually thinking your way out of a trip because of the “what if”. What if questions begin to control what you do because of the fear of something happening. Something that could happen either way, but that isn’t a reason to not enjoy life or go on an adventure. I’ve had to many run ins with death to let the “what ifs” control what I do. Even with being in the hospital, Boston was genuinely a great trip. The time spent with my cousins and eventually with my mom, I wouldn’t cancel. The way I see it, we dealt with a random throw in of the hospital and after being released enjoyed the time in the city and eating food I would have done before entering the hospital. Instead of asking “what if,” I ask “why not” and don’t let the fear of something happening ruin what could be a great trip, event, gathering.
Slow Burn 